If you’ve been following my Instagram then you know I’ve been on vacay in Florida. Galavanting from beach to beach, to the Keys and back etc. Y’all get the point. I’m living life with a fruity drink in my hand. Oh yes, I don’t like to be a braggart but…
Life is fucking good.
It’s the Fourth of July. Before I continue thank you to all of the veterans and families. Your service and sacrifice are the one of the many reasons we can celebrate and live life freely.
So, it’s the Fourth of July. Red, white, and booze my peeps! I’m playing tourist at no other than, The Magic Kingdom (aka Disney World). I know what you’re thinking a tipsy Bunny in the land of happy magical characters… could be problematic.
My girlfriend and I are drinking around the world. I’d highly suggest it! We were in the United Kingdom. Which is drink number ten. I do love the Brits. The land of rugby men. Yes, yes, yes! We’re just enjoying our booze in the U.K. We’ve been mixing reds and whites. Which as everyone knows is a no no. But fuck it, I’m on vacation. Minnie Mouse just took a picture with me with booze in my hand. She’s on my side! She gave me a pair of her ears. That was her way of saying here girl, have one for me. I can’t let Minnie down.
I think I’m seeing double. Because suddenly there are princes everywhere. No literally, a large group of men all in crowns have just walked in. They are chanting. Unfortunately they aren’t serenading like Aladdin did to Jasmine. But hey, we are all drinking. I think my girlfriend is about to fall over. Did I mention that they are all gorgeous?
Okay, well one is clearly taken. It’s his bachelor party. Hence why all the guys look like idiots in crowns. I’ve never heard of a bachelor party at Disney before. Maybe it’s a Florida thing? Or the only thing the bride approved of? Okay well I digress back to hot men in crowns.
I’m feeling especially brave with my Minnie Mouse ears on. I saunter over to the group of crowns. I announce a round of shots for the soon to be King! All of the crowns suddenly turn and yell out loud, “Yes!”
Inner Monologue Moment: They love me! They really love me! Well me and the alcohol. Isn’t it every girls dream to be surrounded by royalty? My wish has finally come true! And I didn’t even have to leave the country.
Shots are on the bar, we all take them. I place my shot down. Then I look at the man in a crown on my right. Holy shit. He’s gorgeous. No ring. So I’m good.
We join the bachelor party as we are drinking around the world. We hit Canada. And our trip is finished. It’s now mid evening. Half of the group wants food. I’m not ready for food yet. I’m still in happy tipsy drink land. Half goes to dinner. The other half decided to stay for fireworks. They invite us to come along. My girlfriend waves her magic wand and says I granted your wish. You’re welcome. I found you a handsome prince.
We’re at Cinderella’s castle. It just feels so natural. Me with my prince and all. My girlfriend and the boys have gone to grab drinks. The fireworks begin. My prince and I are standing next to each other. He puts an arm around me.
Inner Monologue Moment: Fireworks at a castle… I mean come on. Romance, anyone? Ummm yes.
He moves to stand behind me. He puts his head on top of mine. He moves his hands down my arms. I’m feeling all warm and cozy. As I look up at the beautiful lit sky.
His hands move past my arms to my torso. I put my hands over his arms. I’m caressing his large muscular body. He keeps one hand on my waist. The other starts to make its way south…
Inner Monologue Moment: We are at Disney. Home to families, small children, beloved characters and more. I mean shit. Come on fucking Mickey Mouse lives here! MICKEY!
His hands have made it to their destination. Now since we are in Disney it’s not appropriate for me to say where they landed. But you all know where the prince’s hands are…
Thank goodness the fireworks are bright and loud. So everyone is looking up. Because I tried to be quiet. But that didn’t really work out too well. I feel like I’m about to collapse. The prince pulls me closer to his body and holds me up for support. My legs feel like jelly at this point.
As the fireworks are looking like they are about to come to an end. So do I. Well cum that is.
Feeling like: BOOM BOOM POW!