We’re replaying the evening when the lights go out…
Its pitch BLACK.
So, we open the doors and windows, light a few candles and a good male friend (please refer to cowgirl up) stops by to check on us to keep us company until the lights come back on.
They both proceed to start picking on me. He says I’m un adventurous, not fun, or exciting. He says I’m predictable. Basically, he calls me an old maid. This will not do.
Reminder: I’ve been drinking for the entire evening. Please keep this in mind as the rest of the story unfolds.
I’ve suddenly grown a backbone. I proceed to apologize to my girlfriend.
I then strip down to nothing but my red heels. I straddle him, while facing him. This makes him nervous. He’s shocked and taken back by the sudden change in my old maid behavior. I then begin to unbutton his shirt, play with the hair on his chest, flirtatiously move my hands towards his belt loop, and I pull him out. I begin to play with his manly member.
My girlfriend is sitting next to us on the sofa the entire time this scene is unfolding.
She then says that she’s feeling left out. So, she does what any girl would do in this situation, takes off her shirt. She’s a voluptuous woman and she’s wearing a lacy, sheer, blue bra, with just a hint of nip.
His eyes are bugging out of his head. His speech is suddenly impaired. He’s having trouble breathing. All of sudden, he’s feeling uncomfortable… I can’t think why, lol
So, I get up to give him a breather and instead he leans over and begins to motorboat her bosom and yes, he’s enthusiastically making the motorboat sounds.
This is when I hear the front gate.
My neighbor is home early and I think to myself, thank goodness the lights are out so he can’t see us.
As he is walking up the path the lights flicker on…
He looks up to see, a naked neighbor in heels and a half-naked couple on the sofa getting jiggy wit it. I respond as any good neighbor would…
I wave, say “hi”, and “have a great night.” Then I politely shut door.
Moral of the story: New meaning to good neighbor.