This escapade doesn’t begin in one of my usual haunts. It’s more of a unplanned wow that really happened evening.
I’m at a non profit event benefiting Safe Shelter. The environment is typical old Southern money. I’m mingling with a few members. The women who I’m speaking to are suddenly distracted with something behind me. When I feel a hand on my waist. I turn around fully ready to smack away a hand. But stop mid turn. I’m pleasantly greeted with a fresh drink. Then he starts talking to the members with hand still on my back.
My interest is peaked. I decide to go with it.
Description: Mid 40’s, 5’10, salt & pepper hair (btw, grey can be sexy), slender/runner physique, navy pinstripe suit, open collar shirt, dark brown belt and shoes to match, and deep baritone voice. The kitten purred when she heard his voice.
He excuses us from the group by saying, “I’m going to steal her away. We’ll be back.” The ladies give strained smiles as we leave. Point one for “Old fashioned” (that will be his nickname for the rest of this post).
We’re chatting. He explains he’s in town for business. Old fashioned is thinking about moving here.
Inner Monologue Moment: Just be straight with me. Saying that you’re possibly moving here won’t make me more comfortable. Just be straight with me, say you like me, and want to fuck.
He asks me to dinner. I actually have another event to go to, which happens to be at a restaurant. I invite him to tag along. He says that’s great because he’s heading in that direction anyway.
The event is going well. He and I are mingling. Mixing red wine and whiskey wasn’t my best idea. I’m teetering in my Manolos. I’m pep talking myself so that my thoughts and voice are coming thru clearly.
Old fashioned closes out. He turns and gives me two choices. He can be a gentleman and call me a taxi. Second choice I can go upstairs with him and see where this goes.
Inner Monologue Moment: Upstairs? Oh shit. This must be why we were going in the same direction. This is his fucking hotel. Decision making time. Taxi or room?
I give him another once over. He asks, “What’s the verdict?” His smooth sexy voice sealed the deal. Room it is.
We are in his plush suite. I could get used to this. The suite itself make my kitten jump for joy. I’m looking thru the elegant window treatments to see the view of my favorite park. It’s beautiful, has a historic fountain that looks gorgeous at twilight.
Old fashioned comes up behind me, starts with a back rub. We begin to kiss. I push him over to the bed. We both fall onto it together. He’s got a firm grip on me.
My dress has ridden up. Because I’m saddling him. Between kisses I’m slowly unbuttoning his shirt. I’m greeted with a cactus like chest. I kind of jerk back in shock. I pull back to stop. He tells he generally waxes his chest. But he’s been busy with work and travel. He hasn’t had time to upkeep.
Inner Monologue Moment: I understand. Because sometimes its hard for me to find time for kitten upkeep. Along with my legs. So I’m letting this slide. A little hair never hurt a man.
We get back to business. It’s gotten hot and heavy. I decide to speed up the process. I take off his belt. Then unbutton his pants, work on the zipper, and dive in. I’m expecting a beast. But instead all I’m finding is fur.
Inner Monologue Moment: obviously upkeep stopped at his chest. Downstairs has not been de-furred. I don’t know if I can find it. Right now there’s no beast thru the woods.
I decide to go back to kissing. So I can decide if I even want to deal with all of that. I reach my hand around the back of his neck. I feel something a little different.
My nails are combing thru bear fur and it’s THICK.
Inner Monologue Moment: Its long enough to braid! Or at least that’s what it feels like. Mayday! Mayday! How do I get out of this? It’s all a jungle up in here.
What will make him stop? Period, no. Kinky, no. Not on birth control, but he might just say condom.
WAIT, I GOT IT!
He’s kissing my neck. I whisper softly, “You know what would make this even better? Bringing in another friend.” He enthusiastically replies, sure!
I go and grab my phone, completely faux dialing. I say to him while I’m dialing. “He’s always wanted to try this. It’s something our couples therapist suggested to us for maintaining the trust in our relationship. It will help to lessen the feelings of jealousy we each have when seeing each other with someone else.”
Old fashioned has frozen.
Inner Monologue Moment: Mic drop.
He says, “Him? You have a boyfriend? Couples therapist? I’m lost.”
I reply, “FIANCÉE, actually.”
The look on Old fashioned’s face… Priceless.
He then says, “I think you should leave.”
I try to look defeated.
I then tell him, well if you change your mind you know how to find me. I get dressed, grab my phone, and Louis. Then head out.
Advice: Bear is not sexy.