What happens when girls in heels spend quality time in nature? A LOT of wine, MULTIPLE bottles of wine. I have the pictures to prove it! Now that you’ve imagined girls in the country with wine. Take a moment to imagine this… City girls hiking. Yep, injuries and stories are bound to ensue.
Five women in northern Georgia, Blue Ridge Mountains specifically. We are on a girls retreat for a week. No men, no work, no problems. Just five women, a cabin, and wine. Everyone got to choose an outing or event. Our resident crossfitter choose hiking. We all agreed, even if some of us aren’t particularly outdoor-sy per say. The planners planned, and we found the perfect 5 mile hike.
It was supposed to be an easy hike, according to the website. Five miles in total, with waterfalls and nature surrounding us. I’m thinking to myself I can do this.
We had a ton of food at our cabin. All of us had brought food and we all bought grapes. Whoops. So we had a ton. We froze some of them and were using them to keep our white wines chilled on the porch in the evenings. And for when we had sangria and wine spritzers in the morning. They qualify as a breakfast drink. They had fruit juice and fruit! One of the girls said we should just use frozen grapes to keep our waters cold while hiking. Yes only water. We didn’t bring booze to go hiking we weren’t that far gone.
The five of us begin our hike. The hike up was pretty easy. We each had a hiking buddy. The surroundings were beautiful. So of course we were stopping to take pictures of everything. Yes, we were those annoying tourists snapping pics of trees. One of the girls went on ahead of the four of us. She said we were going too slow. We stopped for a quick little snack.
Five miles was starting to feel like ten.
We finally made it to the top. Gorgeous waterfall! Too bad we had to climb UP a hill of rocks to get to it. The website didn’t say anything about climbing up fucking rocks! But we cowgirl-ed up so to speak and made it. Our one girlfriend that had gone ahead was casually lounging on a rock at the top. When we arrived she asked, “What took you guys so long?” As we are pulling out our frozen grape filled waters and looking for a rock to sit on.
The girls and I enjoy the falls. We have another little snack and take a few more pictures. Now we all have to trek back down the mountain. We crawl down the rock filled hill. One of the girls is tired and isn’t moving quite as quickly as the rest of us. So Speedy Gonzalez (aka my girlfriend who left us and got up to the top first) said that she would walk with her and take it a little slower.
Three of us move on ahead. We suddenly heard a loud squeak/scream. The squeak sounded familiar. So we turned around and went back. We see one girlfriend on the ground with a bloody knee. She sees us and informs us that the tree root jumped out and tripped her. Her polite way of saying she tripped. My other girlfriend is kneeling over her in nurse mode. She’s pulling out the first aid kit.
Thank goodness we are planners/over packers.
She is in the middle of fixing up her knee when I pull out my phone. I snap pictures. My girlfriend on the ground bleeding looks up at and says, “Are you serious?” I reply, “We’re making memories.” She gave me the are you fucking kidding me look. Then I stopped taking pictures, I had gotten plenty of the memories on film.
She also twisted her ankle a bit. We had ibuprofen for the pain and inflammation. But we didn’t have any ice. BUT we did have frozen grapes! We pulled out a plastic bag that had chips in it and filled in with the grapes. INSTANT ICE PACK!
BOOM! That’s how five city girls roll on a mountain.
Three of us go ahead while the other two girls take it slowly back down the trail. The three of us are walking along at a bit of a faster pace while enjoying the scenery. I’m in the middle, bff is in front of me, and my other girlfriend is behind. There’s a wet spot on the trail and there is a log that goes over it. Bff walks across the wet area and on top of the log. She turns and tells us, “Be careful, it’s slippery.”
I walk across the log, suddenly my foot slips off of it. Most people would just fall. But of course I don’t. Instead, I’m walking at an increasing rate towards the mountain edge. All the while screaming, “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!” As I’m about to go over. I’ll I’m thinking is oh shit, don’t fall over.
There was a log on the mountain edge, my foot hit it. A log the same thing that just causes me to almost fall over a cliff, it’s the thing that saved me. I’m on the ground, I’m catching my breath, I look back to my girlfriend who was behind me and now is frozen in shock. I turn to look at bff in front. She looks at me and says, “Didn’t I just tell you to fucking be careful!”
Saying: Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice. Some girls are made of fluffy dogs, designer purses, mace toting, and fine wine drinking.