Better when WET

It’s the beginning of fall, so there’s a slight chill in the air. I was running late for work. The elixir of life eluded me. So, I was already in a BAD mood.

I hopped into my car. There was ice on my windshield. I was in a hurry. So, I turned on my windshield wipers. It was my hope that between the windshield wiper fluid and the wipers themselves that it would take care of the ice on my windshield. Though my intentions were good, the action itself didn’t quite turn out as I had planned. The wipers are going, but no fluid was coming out. Oh shit. Now what am I supposed to do?

This ice issue has caused me to be even later than I previously was. I decided to think on my feet. Light bulb moment! I grabbed the flat can of Schweppes ginger ale in my console. Ginger ale can be a substitute for windshield wiper fluid, right?

My wipers are still swiping away. I decide to pour some of the ginger ale on the windshield to break up the ice while standing off to the side. I clearly did not think that action thru. Now ice and ginger ale are all over me in the brisk fall air. I was also no closer to removing the ice from my windshield which started this entire debacle.

Plan B needs to be put into effect.

Plan B was also not an action I thought thru. I need to find something that can scrape ice. But also, something that I don’t have any personal use or attachment to another light bulb moment! Because the last light bulb was a real bright idea.

I find a mixed cd in my glove box that an ex gave me. How fortuitous, this will do the trick! I flip the wipers off, pour a little more Schweppes on the windshield and scrape like I mean it.

Its working! Ta da!

But my arms aren’t long, and I have to lean over the Schweppes soaked windshield to scrape with my cd. Now my dress has two Schweppes wet spots on the front. Finally the windshield is free of ice.

So, I can proceed to work.

As I walk into work. One of my colleagues asked, “What happened?” Because I look a mess, I smell like sweet ginger, with a few chips of ice melting on my dress. I decide there’s no way to spin this, I tell him about my morning experience.

He shakes his head and replies with, “Only you.”

As Vanilla Ice said, “Ice, ice, baby”

© southerngabunny