I was out for the evening with my girls. We were at a local French bar and restaurant downtown. This particular establishment has an excellent wine list and truffle fries to make any woman’s day better. We were seated close to the bar, next to a window so we could people watch.
The girls are talking about their latest escapades with dating. I’m listening to them, but not listening to them. Y’all know what I mean. I’m looking around the bar. Scoping out the men folk. I stop at a particular man, because I recognize this one. You are all familiar with this gentleman. I like to call him the author. He’s been in a few posts (refer put your pole into it).
Author was towards the back of the bar. He got up to go to the bathroom. I thought I should go say hi…
So, I make my way to the back. He’s in the line for men’s restroom. There was one person behind him. I tapped the stranger on the shoulder, and put my finger to my lip asking him politely to shhh. The stranger was a little befuddled, but as they say here in the south, bless his heart. He went with it.
So, I’m standing behind the author in line. He still doesn’t know I’m there. The bathroom is free. He walks in. I walk behind him quietly. I can be very stealthy when necessary. I channel mission impossible, and I’m quiet as a bunny. He’s almost into the bathroom. I push him in. Then turn around and lock us both in. Yes, this could be deemed sexual harassment… But y’all love me, so I know you won’t tell.
He says, WHAT THE HELL?! Then turns around and sees little ole me. I respond with, hi.
He tells me he has to pee. I told him that I’m not stopping him, go ahead. You’ll all be happy to know that he practiced good hygiene and washed his hands. These things matter people!
He finally asked, what am I doing here? I told him I noticed that he was on a date. But she really didn’t look to be his type. He responded with, really what’s my type? He walked right into that one, lol. I informed him that she looked too goody two shoes for him, and he needed a little more spice and a STRONG hand. While crowding him up against the door.
We start to chit chat. I begin to have wandering hands of my own. They happen to wander down to his crotch. I continue to tease him, reminding him that he needs a STRONG hand. His voice is a little raspy/husky now. He says I should stop by their table and meet his date. He’d like my thoughts on goody two shoes.
He starts to bend down to kiss me… I opened the bathroom door, oops.
He almost fell, but caught himself. He told me I was a tease. Then I told him that he needed to handle his sword situation, and walked off. He went back into the bathroom for a few to situate himself. By the time I got back to the table, the girls were ready to go. I told them I ran into a friend, and I was going to stay.
I approach his date, he’s still in the bathroom. She told me that the seat was taken. I told her that her date is a friend and he invited me over. She seems a little taken back. I sit down next to her, and order a glass of red. He comes out of the bathroom and sees us. He’s all smiles. I know exactly what he’s thinking, I’m going to get some tonight. But his date is giving him the death stare. Basically, why the fuck did you invite another woman on our date? I can’t blame her. If a guy did that to me I’d be giving the same death stare (refer to bad evening).
I pat the seat in between us and he sits down. I start to lean on him a bit, and I’m rubbing his arm while drinking my wine. I start to ask author’s date a few basic questions. How did they meet? How long have they been dating? She starts to rub his leg, while we are conversing.
Author is in seventh heaven.
She leaned up and kissed him on the check. She leaned in and said, “Sweetie, I’m feeling adventurous tonight. I’ve always wanted to try a third person.” I take a BIG gulp of my wine, to make her think that I’m uncomfortable. I take a look around the room. I come back to her smug face, because she thinks she’s won and that I can’t handle what she’s just suggested.
I give her a BIG smile. I lean towards her very closely. My hand is now on author’s inner thigh. I whisper to her, “Sweetie you couldn’t handle me. The only way I would consider involving a youngin, because that’s what you are. Is on your knees, as my little kitten.” Then I squeezed his nuts and purred right into his ear while looking directly at her.
Then I grabbed my wine and took a sip. Then I said, “So we are all going back to author’s place then?” She said she was suddenly feeling tired and needed to go home. OH, NO the little kitten got scared… I always wanted a little kitten. But I want one with a little spunk. Not a lazy lay on the sofa kitten with a cleopatra complex.
She left. He closes up. I went home with him, of course. He took me home and worshipped my kitty in all the right ways. All I can say is MEOW…
Quote: She wasn’t looking for a knight, she was looking for a sword.