Please refer to the previous post for the first part of this post here.
I’m patiently waiting in line to pay for my multiple bottles of wine (is there a limit per person?), baked goods, and ice cream. It’s a party tonight! Well for one and my beloved snuggle buddy, Teddy.
I receive a text message from my west coast bestie. She asks, can she call she needs some help with a purchase. Of course I say yes. Next thing I know I’m getting a FaceTime call. It’s unexpected I’m in the grocery, but I’ve got my headphones in, and I’m in line waiting anyway.
The screen pops up and I see… two different neon purple dildos. I double check the number to make sure I’m not receiving the incorrect number. Yep, it’s my bestie.
Just another day grocery shopping…
I reply with, “Ummm… did you mean to FaceTime me?” She says, yes she thought this would be quicker. Since it’s my area of expertise after all.
Inner Monologue Moment: How am I supposed to reply to this in public? There are children in this store. I have people in front and behind me. Can I be vague? Is that possible for this discussion? Well I’m gonna try right, what are friends for.
I ask her, what are we hoping to achieve? And what’s the budget?
She tells me she is open to ideas. There is currently no budget. She just needs to update her collection.
My replies I decide would be best if they are cooking oriented. I’m in the grocery store after all. I can get away with this, I think. I ask her, are we going vegan (thin)? Or are we being carnivorous (fat)? Because there is a difference in filling (feeling).
She says whatever I suggest. Well, fuck it’s gonna hard to think of cooking terms for this.
I decide to fuck it. People know that shit happens in public. But I’m trying to whisper via headphones and cover my screen. Left side: is long, thin, and pointy. I explain that if she wants depth with a little bit of vibration that one is the winner. Right side: has ridges which is great for grip and thicker for different sensation. I ask her, have you considered silicon or glass? She replies, I don’t know the difference. I tell her, silicon is more life like, and glass can be heated or cooled it has a bit more impact. And the glass can be thrown in the dishwasher.
She tells me she can’t decide so she’s getting both. Hooray, I’m home free!
When instead, she takes me to the plug section. This is when I see her briefly and realize she doesn’t have headphones in. She has me on speaker.
I tell her if she wants to be playful she should consider a tail. I’m preferential to bunny tails. But there are many kinds to choose from. She decided the tails were outside her comfort zone. But I’m on a roll now. So I’m just listing off devices she should take a look at while in store: nipple clamps, a bullet, an anal gem for work usage (for that jazzy feeling).
Okay, I’m almost up to check out. I tell her I’ve gotta go, have fun!
As I move around my cart to put my items on the belt I notice that, random guy has been standing behind me the entire time.
Random guy looks me straight in the eyes and says, “We should be friends.”