Here in Savannah we love our booze. You can even walk with it year round in the open. As long as it’s in a plastic not glass and within certain bounds of downtown. We boozers love any excuse to that’s right you guessed it, DRINK BOOZE! I know that one was a shocker, huh?
Holidays are generally a time where we all drink a little more. Merry Christmas, have some spiked eggnog! Happy Thanksgiving, lets open up another bottle of red! It’s Kentucky derby day, hand over my mint julep! Y’all get the point. Holidays equal frivolity. So in Savannah our big holiday is all about the green. No, I’m not referring to dollar dollar bills y’all. Let’s talk leprechauns, pots of gold, Erin go braugh, and all things Irish. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!! Kiss this bunny, because she’s Irish. Seriously y’all, I’m Irish on my mom’s side. Drinking is in my DNA!
I’ve got a new beau. So I spent this green holiday with him. His nickname for this post will be the Sandman. He’s an anesthesiologist. Hence the nickname. Let me give you a succinct description: 6’5, great smile, runner physique, bald, blue eyes, and pale skin.
He came to visit me for the weekend. This was his first time visiting me. He wasn’t on call, so he could let loose. Y’all know I had to show him a good time! He chose the best weekend to let loose!
Bring on the alcohol!
We started out the morning with a traditional Catholic mass and had green eggs and ham. We then walked to my friends place, which is right on the parade route. It’s the best way to enjoy the festivities. Free food and booze! Plus no public bathrooms.
My friends met him. They all had the same reaction to him. He wasn’t very social, only interested in topics he liked, over all they didn’t get a good vibe from him, and didn’t feel like we made a good match.
But we’ve been drinking for two days straight, from morning until night. I’m determined that we are going to have a good time with the festivities of green. Bunny is pretty sloshed at this point. I couldn’t walk anymore. So Sandman had to give me a piggyback ride from bar to bar. I LOST my green heels! That was a true travesty.
He said that I was still making sense. But that I was just unsteady. We went to a new bar, next to my favorite dessert place. There was a DJ. Once I could get my ID out of my bra, flash my ID (get your minds out of the gutter I wasn’t so far gone that I’d flash the bouncers), and I hopped over to get my groove on to the dance floor. I was in the zone. I just assumed he would follow me. A little while later he came up behind me. I was so EXCITED!! I might have jumped into his arms in the middle of the dance floor. He looked at me, smiled, and said I’ll go grab you a water. I told him NO water, LET’S DANCE!
I drink his water, after I insisted I didn’t need any. He told me let’s go upstairs and we can do anything you want… after you drink two waters. I told him okay… I’ll drink THREE!
Boo yah! Bunny grin.
There are lounge chairs upstairs. I claimed one of the lounges. There was a blanket on the chair, he covered me with the blanket, and gave me my water. He also gave me a little something else under the blanket with his hands… It certainly woke me up in all the right ways. After my happy ending, I startled him with a make out session. Then popped UP and said,“I finished my three waters. I get to choose the next spot!”
So, Bunny’s memory is a little fuzzy after leaving the bar. I’m just a few carrots short, so to speak… But from what I was told I was hopping all over the place. Let’s pick back up on what I do remember, shall we.
We are walking back to a friends house that we are staying with downtown. They live next to a beautiful park. This park also happens to have a historic and popular fountain. Here in Savannah during St. Patrick’s Day week all of the water for the fountains are dyed green.
We were walking together, he veered to the right, I kept going straight. Straight towards the fountain. Did I forgot to mention that we were with a group of people? Sandman turned around, saw me running towards the green fountain. I apparently was yelling, “I’m hot! I need to cool off!”
Disclaimer: It is illegal to jump into any fountain in my historical city. Just in case any of you visit and see a fountain then think let’s jump in like Bunny did! DO NOT! It’s a great way to get arrested! I was extremely lucky. Please do not try to swim in a fountain. Thank you.
I climbed over the fence and hopped into the fountain. My friends jumped in after me to stop me. Every time one of them caught me, or grabbed a piece of my clothing to stop me. I would take it off. Yep, I was stripping in a public place. That’s called public indecency. Another law broken. I’m just racking them up tonight.
Sandman gives me the serious dad voice, telling me to vacate the fountain. I stopped, turned to him, opened my arms, and jumped to him. He caught me, he was carrying me in a firemen’s hold thru the park. As we were walking, or I should say he was walking, I told him his ASS looked AMAZING from this angle. He just shrugged, said uh huh, and kept walking. I noticed my friends were behind me and they had my clothes. Because good friends grab your clothing from the public fountain.
I wake up the next morning in my bed. I’m soaking wet. My bed is stained with green water. I look for Sandman, I see him sleeping on the sofa. I ask him, “Is there a reason you’re sleeping over there?” He gives me that are you kidding me look? Then I hop out of bed and run to be the bathroom, I’ve gotta potty. I’m talking to him thru the door, saying let’s go get coffee. I look in the mirror. OH FUCK! When did I get green highlights?
My boss is not going to believe this shit. What salon did you go to? Salon de fountain? It’s all the rage. The police officers even go there….