Just feeling a little overwhelmed and need a change of pace. Sometimes the best solution is to leave town for a few days. Experience somewhere else, with new people. It helps to get out every once and a while. My beloved readers this is that story for me.
I live in a city with a beach. I wanted the opposite. I needed a switch. So, I thought how about the mountains. It’s cold and snowy, completely the opposite of beach town weather. I love the mountain air. It’s cleansing. I talked to a old friend who I’ve kept in touch with. He told me to come and stay with him. He was ecstatic to have me come up to visit! I was so excited too.
I know what you’re all thinking… Single woman going to stay with a single man. There’s bound to be some alterior motives in that invite. I hate to burst your bubble. But my friend is GAY. So, my body is completely safe at his humble abode.
I treated myself shortly before this trip.
Okay, well a very LARGE treat. It has shiny wheels, leather interiors, and lots of fun gadgets. I’m driving to the mountains, well speeding to the mountains. My new treat has serious pick up and go! It took me eight hours instead of six. Traffic was a royal BITCH.
I finally arrive. It’s fucking freezing! Yes, I wanted a change of pace. But damn, I’d forgotten how cold 26 degrees is! He comes out to meet me. I’m feeling a little hesitant. We haven’t seen each other in a long time. I’m hoping we’ll fall back into the same pace from before.
He hugs me, grabs my bags, and takes me inside to where it’s warm! We head back to the master bedroom. He puts down my bags, then gives me the tour. By the way, we always slept in the same bed before. So, I’m completely good with staying in the master. I have a little sense of unease. It’s just been so long since we were in the same space.
I’m starving! He takes me to a farm to table restaurant. We are seated, he heads to the bathroom. I make friends with the couple next to us. She and I are chatting, she compliments me on my purse. Of course I automatically LOVE HER.
To my male readers: It’s a girl thing automatically loving someone because they love your purse. I’d try to explain it. But there’s no logical explanation for it.
My friend comes back to the table. This is when I realize he’s not appropriately dressed for the restaurant we are in. He’s wearing a button down shirt with a large design on his left chest. But his shirt was only buttoned to mid chest, and popped open. This displayed his chest tattoo. The couple looks at him, and gives him a strange look. They tell me to have a wonderful evening and ignore him.
He was drinking like a fish. Five drinks and counting. In his drunken state he was leaning. His lean was right into my personal bubble space. The food wasn’t great to add to the lovely evening. In his alcohol induced state he started to chat about his personal life. He starts to talk about this girl that he used to date. HOLD ON, cease, STOP, GIRL? I repeat, GIRL?
I ask him, “What do you mean you were dating a girl?” He tells me matter of factly that he decided that he likes girls now. No more guys.
Inner monologue moment: Oh FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! The only reason I agreed to stay with him is because he’s gay. He didn’t feel like this knowledge was pertinent. Because it is EXTREMELY important! I’m so fucked. From this point on in the story I’ll be referring to him as the Pretender.
We head back to his house. When we return this is when I realize he put my stuff in his room. OH SHIT. I then decide to suck it up, go with, don’t make a huge scene/fuss. I’ll just sleep on the very edge of the bed. I’ll also wrap a sheet around me just to be extra secure.
Next day we go sight seeing. We have a party to go to that evening, so we get back to the house. I take a shower, get dressed, I look fucking HOT. Definitely dressed to kill. I might freeze, but I’ll look damn good while I’m turning into a popsicle.
We meet at the Pretender’s friends house to pre game. They open the door, Pretender is in front of me. Wife opens the door, she says, “Oh it’s so nice to finally meet your girlfriend.”
Inner monologue moment: WHAT THE FUCK? Apparently I missed the memo. Because the last time I checked my ass was SINGLE.
I automatically correct her. I reply, “Oh excuse me, I’m sorry there’s a misunderstanding. I do have a boyfriend. But he’s back at home.” I also give the Pretender the WHAT THE FUCK look, which he swiftly turns away from. Awkward much? Yes, I lied. I admit to it. Sometimes a white lie for the right reason is alright.
They are all taking shots. I’ve decided it’s best for me NOT to drink a lot. I need to have my wits about me. A lot of shady shit has taken place over the last 24 hours. It’s better to be vigilant. I might have come off as the party pooper. But that’s just too bad.
I ask him how far away is the party? Because it’s getting late. His friends give him a strange look. We hop into the car. I’m expecting a 15-30 minute ride. Three minutes later Pretender’s friend announced, “We’re here!” I look out of the window. All I’m thinking is seriously? I got dressed up to go to a POOL HALL! I really need that shot now.
I have two shots. Then order coke in a short glass to make it look like I’m drinking. I’m completely over dressed for this bar. I find myself a stool at the end of the bar. Then I sit and drink my coke hoping that the night will be over with soon.
Then Sex on a stick walks into the bar. He’s wearing leather and carrying a motorcycle helmet, scruffy and rough around the edges. All I’m thinking is, HELLO! We need to chat!
I’m watching him as he makes his way toward his friends. We make eye contact a few times. He finally takes the hint and stalks over. Just as he’s about to get to me, Pretender’s friend comes over and sits down next to me. Ugh!!!! Really? I give Pretender’s friend the eat shit and die look. He’s confused. He asks me what he did. I say nothing. I still keep eye contact. Sex on a stick tries to make a move again, and the same thing happens again! I swear, I think someone just wants me to have a shitty night.
I go to the bathroom.
I come out and I’m greeted with Sex on a stick waiting for me. He asks if I needed a drink, and if I would like to come over and join him with his friends? I walk with Sex on a stick to meet his friends. I walk past the Pretender and completely ignore him. So Sex on a stick’s friends are all just as gorgeous as he is. JACKPOT! My night is finally looking up!
He asks me if I play pool. I tell him not really. He says to watch him and if I want to learn he’ll teach me next round. The Pretender then shows up, acting all concerned, he asks if I’m okay. He wants me to step away from all the gorgeous men so we can talk. Sex on a stick proceeds to pull me towards him and puts his hands on my thighs. He tells Pretender that I’m fine, and if I need anything I’ll let him know. The stare down between them begins. Or should I say the measuring contest.
Sex on a stick WINS.
Pretender still doesn’t want to leave. So he makes commentary on his tattoos. Sex on a stick asks about the Pretender’s but doesn’t really seem like he cares. Pretender then says something else about his tattoos. I’ve forgotten specifically, because at this point Sex on a stick pulled up his shirt to show his other tattoos. It was all over his torso. All I’m thinking is how do I find these people?
I stay with Sex on a stick thru the rest of the evening. Pretender looks over to check every once and a while. Sex on a stick makes commentary about Pretender. I give him a brief overview about the situation I walked into with the Pretender. He’s NOT happy when he hears it. Pretender comes over to tell me that they are leaving, hinting that it’s time for me to go too. Sex on a stick informs him that I’m good with him, and he’ll bring me home when I’m ready.
We hang out the rest of the night. He brings me home. We exchange information, and make plans to meet the next day. He leans down and gives me a toe curling kiss. I open the door, go inside, and take a deep breath. That’s my kinda guy.
Tip: Gay isn’t always gay.