Typical downpour in Georgia, what I mean for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of visiting our beloved peach state is, its flooding.
I’m driving home. All the main streets are flooded. So, I’m following the cars in front of me quite closely.
I’m passing by one of the main parks downtown. As I’m passing the park I notice that the water is getting deeper and deeper. The water is getting scary close to my windows.
I’m not a mermaid, this could get complicated soon. Where’s Sebastian and Flounder to bust out into a cheerful song when you need one? I mean I’m not Under the Sea yet though. How about Trapped in the Park? Trapped in my Car? Nope, Disney has a better sense of peppy musical timing than I do.
Damn it! Oh well, sorry I digress, back to my water situation.
I notice three cars up, a car has put his left turn signal on. I think, is he an idiot? Does he really think he can make it thru flood waters? Hello stupid! Its flooding, you dumbass!
All the cars try to continue around the ass. This has now caused the current to change. We are now currently floating next to the park.
Where’s my life jacket when I need it?
So, I’m floating along with the other cars. This is about to be a really concerning game of bumper cars.
I decide I’m going to confront the asshole. I can’t open my door, due to the water. I roll down my window, shove my umbrella out, open it, and crawl out.
I slosh over to the ass in waist deep water. I give him the ROLL DOWN his window hand move. He shakes his head NO!! I BEAT on it. He still doesn’t open it. Ugh!
I decide to walk home.
I come back 15 minutes later to check on my car. There’s NO water in sight. It was like when Moses parted the Red Sea! All the water was really gone. My car is sitting sideways in the middle of the street.
A massive country truck stops behind me. Two men get out and ask if I have stalled and need any help. I inform them, that I’ve drowned my car. They proceed to ask if I’ve been drinking? They push my car to the side of the road and they call me a tow truck.
Yes, gentlemen still exist. Apparently your car has to drown to find them!
They wait with me until the tow truck comes. I explain the situation to the man who has come to tow me. He begins to laugh. He doesn’t believe me either. He hooks up my car, lifts it at a angle, and surprise, surprise water starts to run out.
I jump up and down. See I’m not crazy! Boo-yah!
Moral of the story: Go with the flow