Head over beans 

Lets talk about my ginger gentleman.   

Please read the previous post titled, Wine is WIN with an E on the end for how I met the ginger.  

We left the wine bar. But the night was still young. So we went to another wine bar and ordered food and drank two bottles of wine. 

Yep this man knows how to get the carrots.

He asked me if I drove my car? I told him no, I was going to uber it home. Ginger said that he only lived a couple of blocks away. He had just gotten back from Napa, and had a few bottles of wine he knew I would love. I was welcome to come and try a bottle with him. 

Bunny has just SCORED! More wine, YES PLEASE!! With a STRONG possibility of a tangle in the sheets. This night is looking up after all. Thank goodness I said NO to chicken salad sandwiches.

We arrive at his place. His house is located on a popular historic street. We enter and it is pitch black inside. I’m greeted with two cute fluffy puppies. He took me straight back to the kitchen. Ginger grabs the wine out of the wine fridge and two glasses then leads me outside where he opens up the wine in the courtyard. We sat and enjoyed a glass. The garden was beautiful. I could smell lavender and rosemary. I asked him if he gardened? He completely ignored the question. Then asked me about the wine.

He began to make his move. We started to kiss in the moonlight. Yep, pretty romantic I know!

So we make our way back into the house. We left the wine outside we are too preoccupied being hand-sy with each other. He starts to take me downstairs. I think to myself, hmmm okay.  I assumed we would be going upstairs to a bedroom. But I go with it. We get to the bottom of the stairs. This is HIS room, it’s in the basement. I see a sci fi posters on the wall, gamer equipment everywhere, platform bed, and a striped bean bag.


So, okay he’s wearing khakis, Ralph Lauren polo, and brown loafers. He paid for a few bottles of expensive wine and is living in a very expensive historic home and yet his room is in the basement. WHAT THE HELL?! This is not what I expected. So I of course ask. I thought your room would be upstairs? He said he was house sitting and that he knew we would be making a lot of noise. So he brought me down here so the noise wouldn’t disturb anyone.

Inner monologue moment: Okay, firstly if you’re house sitting you are generally the ONLY one in the house. Because the owners are gone. So who would we be disturbing? The dogs? And the home upstairs is impeccably decorated. Also, not cheap decor. There were antique pieces, artwork, a modern kitchen with beautiful appliances. But yet the basement bedroom decor looks like a geeky nerd who never grew up lives here. I’m thinking now that this is grandma’s house and she has graciously agreed to let her beloved grandson live in her basement rent FREE. But he is telling women either it’s his home or that he’s house sitting whatever will help him score. Now I’ve got to give him a little respect. Obviously this isn’t his first rodeo. He’s making it work.

Hey just remember DON’T HATE the player, HATE the game.

He could tell I was a little uncomfortable and said he knew just what to do to help me relax. Ginger than professed his LOVE for giving lady head. Apparently he has mad skills in this area.

Question: How many men do you think would say that going down on a girl is their favorite pastime? What percentage of the male population do you think that includes? Probably not very high. So since he has professed his love of performing this act I’m assuming that he has perfected and honed his skills. I’m expecting him to ROCK MY WORLD like never before.

I’m sitting on the bean bag. (Yes, a  bean bag) I’ve just taken off my panties and pushed up my skirt. He takes off ALL his clothes. He wants to show me the whole package I suppose. He is VERY well endowed. I’ve never seen that much endowment before.

Sidenote: Is that even going to fit? I don’t know if the kitty was meant to stretch out quite that far. It might not go back to fighting form. By the way he’s accessorized (refer to Swiss). He’s pierced and wants to give me HEAD, HELL YES! Give it to me! My expectations are officially high. Let’s get things going on this bean bag.

He was like a slobbering puppy, slobbering all over my kitty. He got up in there. But unfortunately it felt like I was being motorboated in my lady parts. *shudder* 

We continued, I had to close my eyes so I wouldn’t look him in the face. Because I knew I would start laughing hysterically if I did. I officially know what tickle me elmo must feel like.

I was expecting some kinky shit from him. All I got was my back on a bean bag. We never even made it to the platform bed. Ugh!!

P.S. ~ the carpet did match the drapes


9 thoughts on “Head over beans 

  1. Haha it’s interesting seeing things from the other side. Things I’ve learned, spend more time in wine bars, learn about wine, other guys rarely perform oral sex on women (this is news to me, I thought most men did this). I’m learning so much! Thanks for sharing your adventures

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Marty Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s