Happy beach day! The mayor has opened ours beaches back up to the public. At least I can social distance and be tan. Because tanning matters. And no mask required at the beach.
MAJOR plus point.
I’ve had lots of time to figure out exactly what would be needed for a great beach day. Of course, alcohol. My girlfriends raided the boxed wine section at Target. And I made what I’ll call a beach party punch. I’ll let all of figure out what was in it. But yes, a lot of alcohol made an appearance.
Let’s just say it was ggggoooodddd punch.
Due to the “quarantine 10” I’m rocking a cute yet sexy one piece. We are at our usual spot at 8am. Yes, that’s right 8am. Gotta get the good parking, and good spot on the beach. We’ve set up, chairs, coolers, drink holders (Target is awesome), umbrellas, and screw in umbrella holder (the mallet has officially been retired due to this genius invention).
We’ve enjoyed a quiet, relaxing, beach party punch drinking morning. People eventually start to show up. And park themselves right next to us. It’s not like they’ve got the whole beach or anything. Umm social distance much?
I’m good with families, singles, couples, etc. What I’m not good with are immature, spoiled, illegally drinking, glass throwing, annoyingly loud and obnoxious high schoolers.
Inner Monologue Moment: When I drank illegally in high school we did so in private. Like a home, hotel, etc. we did not blatantly break law in public. Especially where police officers and lifeguards are constantly patrolling. Whatever happened to committing crimes with a little discretion? Is discretion out of style and no one told me?
So the beach party punch has made my tolerance of loud, drunk, high schoolers very low. Low enough that I felt I should do my civic duty and call the authorities. After all more then one law was being broken in PUBLIC no less.
I give the local cops a call. They are happy to come and solve my drunk teeny bopper problem. A few minutes later, what do see? The police in 4 wheelers coming down the beach. I want to turn on the Jaws theme song for them. Because the stupid teeny boppers don’t even know what’s coming.
I refill the girls beach party punch, turn down the music, and get ready for the show. I did put on my large floppy hat to make my staring less obvious.
Our local beach police are earning the tax payers money. They take the following from the under aged CRIMINALS: bottles/cans of alcohol & cases of beer. All of the other underage drinking that was close to our beach camp is currently scurrying to hide their illegal contraband.
Inner Monologue Moment: Is this what my life has come to? I am the dog lady who enjoys raining on the youths parade. I blame it on the pandemic. If I hadn’t been cooped up so long inside this wouldn’t bother me so much. But I’m not going to lie it made my fucking day.
My girlfriends and I cheers to the happy show. And we write a lovely review for our local beach police.
Saying: Drink what makes you happy with friends that make you laugh.
One thought on “Let’s Get Salty!”
Ruh oh, we aren’t becoming a “Karen” are we! Better go out and loose a Blahnik in the bushes while you’re hammered after hitting on a cop while getting pulled over at a DUI check point to get your street cred back! 🙂