Safety First

This story begins where America’s elixir of life is roasted, toasted, blended, grounded, and shaken.

If you do not know as to the establishment I’m referring to, you obviously have been deprived my friends. Deprive yourself no longer!

Go forth! Find the elixir of life in your hometown! They are everywhere…

Just like the US government. The establishment to which I refer to with such terms of endearment is no other than… Starbucks! (the angels began to sing, Alleluia in a rapturous chorus)

I’m standing in line. I notice across the register there are finely dressed men in green scrubs. I make eye contact (wink, wink). It’s now my turn to order the elixir.

I go for my wallet…

As I flop it open to the folio, a shiny gold package magically takes up wings and flies onto the counter. The Starbucks barista looks at me and smiles slyly. I place my hand over the shiny package. I try to slide it back into my purse. Of course, my plan goes awry. The gold package (which if you haven’t figured out yet is a condom) descends to the floor.

The room suddenly seems silent to me…

The men dressed in green scrubs have ceased to speak. Hmm… How peculiar? I wonder why conversation has suddenly halted?

I step away, and put my foot on top of the package. I’m trying to figure out a way to place it in my purse in a non obvious manner. Of course, that couldn’t happen. Tis be the luck that I’m cursed with, ugh!

It has slid farther than I had anticipated. Crap!

Now, I see a green scrubbed hand gently picking up my golden safety package…

He wouldn’t give my package back right away. Green scrubs wanted to keep it for a moment apparently. Now of course all the other green scrubbed gentlemen are looking at me with a little extra twinkle in their eyes.

He finally hands me the golden package and he replies with, “I can think of better ways to use this, than for hockey.” My drink order is now being called. I tell him to “keep it”. He’ll get more use out of it than me.

Moral of the story: Who knew you could play hockey at Starbucks?

© southerngabunny