No Socks

I met this particular gentleman thru an acquaintance of mine on Facebook. We chatted back and the forth for a few weeks via Facebook messenger. Naturally, we Facebook stalked each other. He dressed well, was employed, seemed normal. I thought, why not?

He informed me that he was currently on sabbatical. Because he was a gentleman he invited me dinner, not just drinks or coffee. Coffee be it my elixir of life, my beloved… But in my personal experience, it’s the kiss of death for a first meet and greet or date! This is the one time the elixir is a no no.

We met in a square downtown, it’s nice public area. Just in case I needed to make an expedient get away. I was looking especially pretty, in a chiffon dress and stilettos. 

He texted and said he was on his way. I’m in the square waiting. My date approaches me in the following ensemble: a size too large sports coat (Where was a good tailor when he needed one? I could have happily given him a few suggestions.), a navy t-shirt with multiple sweat stains (Did I mention it’s the end of summer? It’s hot and humid.), baggy, wrinkled jeans (the baggy-ness is due to the belt that apparently got lost in his closet full of over sized, sweat stained, wrinkled clothing), and lastly loafers with NO socks (I realize that the loafers with no socks is a southern thing, but not every style should be followed).

He greets me with two red solo cups. He hands me one, and says he made a last minute sangria. He remembers that I’m not an avid drinker, but decided it couldn’t hurt to offer me a tasty beverage. We walk down to a trendy rooftop bar, for before dinner drinks. Already he has finished his tasty beverage and mine.

He suggested sitting outside to watch the sunset. I thought okay, he’s got a little bit of a romantic streak in him. He orders a vodka martini and I got a club soda with lime. I wanted to wait and drink at dinner. 

During the course of our conversation on the rooftop he informs me that it’s been a difficult year for him. He tells me that his brother tragically committed suicide and his mother very recently passed away. At this point, I’m a little flabbergasted. I also am thinking now probably isn’t the best time for him to be dating. 

Now is the time for grieving and good friends.

While we are on the rooftop he knocks back three vodka martinis. I’m still nursing my club soda. I tried to change the topic. I ask him about what he does, why he likes our city etc. He then gives me the good news that we are going to my favorite restaurant. He remembered, that was very thoughtful. During our entire conversation he has on his sunglasses. This is a particular pet peeve of mine. I like to be able to look people in the eye. But we start to make our way to the restaurant.

He got a drink to go…

The restaurant is farm to table, everything is made in house. It’s spectacular. They make your dining experience memorable. The staff bends over backwards to give you what you want. He’s never been, so I’m excited to share this experience with him.

We are seated across from each other. I’m the type of person who likes to talk to my waiter or waitress. Ask for their preferences, dislikes, and suggestions. Because they’ve tasted most of the dishes and gotten customer feedback. After he interrupted my conversation with our waitress to order yet another drink. I know shocker, huh. Even she didn’t appreciate his tone and gave him a look. Then she turned back to me and smiled.

She gave some great suggestions for wine pairings. He surprised me and said lets just get a bottle. I can certainly go with that. We place our orders. I stress my gluten allergy to our waitress. She brings me homemade gluten free bread. I’m so happy about my bread! He makes commentary about my bread. Saying that if he knew that I was going to like the bread more than him he would have chosen another restaurant. 

Excuse me! Is he serious? He’s jealous of bread. Really?

We order three courses. My courses are delicious and very large portions. His three courses are teeny. That’s what you get for pissing off the wait staff! Boo yah! I offer to share. He says he doesn’t like to share. Okay… 

He then turns his aggression towards me. He says that I’m difficult to read. He wants to know why I’m not opening up. The waitress came to refill my water glass. He shooed her away and told her she could go. Oh no, I know he didn’t! How rude, inconsiderate, and childish! I ask him if he has a problem with me talking to the wait staff. He says no, but he wants all of my attention focused on him.

He notices that I’m not really drinking much of the wine. He takes it upon himself to finish the other half of the bottle. At this point in good lighting, I notice that the whites of his eyes are really yellow. This is a sign of jaundice. I’m trying to decide now if I should mention it to him. It could be potentially hazardous to his health. But I decide not to mention it.

Then unexpectedly he mentions his boat and how he would love to take me and a few of my friends on a trip to Florida. Basically, he’s trying to overcompensate. He starts throwing out all these ideas and making plans. At this point, I’m feeling like he’s a man who’s lonely and in need of a friend to talk to.

We finish dinner. He and I walk to my car. He didn’t get a drink to go this time. He stops at a side gate, I’m parked close to his house. He offers me a night cap. I’m thinking really, is he kidding. I tell him that I’m tired and I need to get home. That I’d like to get together another time. I give him a hug and hop in my car.

Later in the evening, I receive a text from him. Informing me that he must have misread the signals. He thought that I was interested and that if I had come inside his place that nothing would have happened that I didn’t want to. 

Well, thank you captain obvious for informing me of what I am already aware of. I didn’t respond, it was very late. 

Definitely booty call time. I wait and respond in the morning. I told him that I didn’t feel like he was in the right space for dating right now. If he needs a friend that’s all that I can offer him and I’m here if he would like to talk.

Tip: Beware of men who are sock deprived.

© 2016 southerngabunny